butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Will you blow on my dice?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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