so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I currently don't understand fingers.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
