I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
