Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
