i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
