This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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