yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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