he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
