i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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