She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
