well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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