Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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