When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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