You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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