walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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