every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
