I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize