He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
