I must be too annoying 4 u.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize