giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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