What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
