your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
