You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
