Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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