She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
