Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i will never coherently bang her
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
