he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
