I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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