She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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