I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I need to stop coming to work sober
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
