we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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