She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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