yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
