Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
