I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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