Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
And then my night got REAL pukey
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
