I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
