there's paper in my vomit.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
