New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize