I cannot find my penis.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
