Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
