were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
