my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
