Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How external is "for external use only"?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize