She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
