I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
