i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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