I'm drive I can fine osifer
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
