I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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