Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
