I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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