My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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