I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
