I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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