it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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