My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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