No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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