Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
