Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
