there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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