I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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