Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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