I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
