I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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