Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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