Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
