walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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