im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
