i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You are the jesus of drinking
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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