I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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