if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
