I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
