Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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