I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
