If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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